1. i dislike malls.

2. i don't like money but i need it anyway.

3. i don't understand why people are not that interested to wander and get lost.

4. i don't understand why people think it's that impressive to impress others by things they actually aren't impressed with.

5. i start to think that it's quite of a paradox to tell myself a communist but what i have been wanting to have this far is a solitary life. but i don't it is really a paradox. wanting a solitary life may be simply a reaction of an act of circle-of-devilish-human that happens. or, i don't really get the point of being a communist. but wait, am i a communist, anyway? or a socialist? or a marxist? or? who told me i'm a communist, anyway? blah.

6. i once recorded a girl who had pedicure in a mall for a short-film project and found out it was such a waste of time to stay for an hour (and more) to get pretty nails which would limit me anyway (in my pov). pedicure is fucking boring and i can say those girls with pretty toes and nails are really good to manage their impatience.... or they simply can't just make any good priority order of patience.

7. i questioned why people like to be really all out just to go to certain malls, spend money for things to impress others, to be socially accepted; but then i realized that everyone is having their own fetish that i shouldn't bother. perhaps those people also question why i prefer to spend hours to go to art exhibitions, public lecturers, books launching, libraries, discussion.

we should not bother each other's fetishes, i conclude (so far).

8. i get anxious when i find out that i'm not anxious. i get used to suspect things that gone too perfect.

9. i'm a sapiosexual. fuck yeah, i found the word on tumblr. it means a person who's sexually attracted to intelligence of a person's. guess i ain't ace. perhaps i'm a demi.

10. i question if i question too much. and i wonder if these questions and the quests really make senses. oh, see? i'm questioning the question of questioning. am i doomed?
(and i think i am doomed. it's been almost a week. i can't access google, hotmail, yahoo mail, bing, or any other search engine, and i can't access this blog sometimes. retarded.)