I have been noticed by most friends as a person who is pretty skeptical to any relationship - and any romantic stuffs. I don't believe in marriage. If people merely want to have sex, they should just do. Simply promising a long-life relationship so they can legally have sex as much as they can without any burden of judgement of immorality that our eastern society builds is a non-sense. And I also have seen enough (empirically) how the domination of the State and any religious institutions interfere marriage and distort my point of view of the essence of marriage, also implies on how people misuse the label of religion to get married as one of steps to fulfill their acceptable identity in this messed up society. Marriage is nothing more than just a nation-wide-hypocrisy that our society builds to dominate their points of moral which is being legal in this misled country who keeps telling their people the importance of religion to create a virtuous society (and I can tell you how these religious thingy have made more troubles, instead).

Why can I just simply live along with a person I love, keeping the promises personal, fulfilling our obligation as civilians, taking care of our kids with a total responsibility as a couple without having to deal with these all shitty bureaucracies?

But both Irwan Ahmett and Tita Salina have been such an iconic couple for me, personally, and changed my cynical point of view as well.

I was still in my early 3rd year in college, questioning the essence of being a graphic design student and how my education could help me do something for the society as my moral responsibility, when I read an article about Irwan Ahmett for the very first time in Indonesian Graphic Design Association website. I was pretty familiar on how industry sucks and works contrary with the graphic design academic worlds I have (tried to) been familiar with in last about 2 years with several discussions I had with a lecturer. Irwan Ahmett grabbed my attention with his Urban Play project: on how he integrated his knowledge of graphic design (as what I study in college) with contemporary art movement, and also, on how the project could response the condition of the society in very smart, witty ways. Urban play is so..... urban.

When other designers don't have enough guts to resist to this awful creative industry (which make them just simply end up with laughs and mocks behind their particular annoying clients) and tends to make good graphic design as something expensive and create more gaps to marginalize certain groups of people, Irwan Ahmett came up with great ideas that burst my excitement.

The second time I heard a person told a story about Irwan Ahmett, at that moment I thought Irwan Ahmett had become my design-celeb-crush. As an editor, I was accompanying my journalist to do an interview with an urban artist at his street art database-camp in South Jakarta when we eventually went to moment to talk about education and how arts and artists get involved in society. That artist suddenly mentioned Irwan Ahmett:

"Have heard about Irwan Ahmett?"

"His urban play project?" I replied.

"Nope. What he has done surprisingly to our institution."

This artist studied in same well-known art college in Jakarta. Then he told something I did not believe could ever happened for real about what Irwan Ahmett did right after his Final Project presentation for his Bachelor degree in Graphic Design: his presentation went well, the examiners were fine with his project, but one of them (or one important person in that institution, I don't quite remember) refused to sign the approval of his final paper: his step to graduation was neglected. He went out the examination room angrily, covered all the first floor of the building with artworks of his final project, then burned down his bachelor thesis in the college yard.

"He wasn't graduated, for sure. But these days, he's the most influential artist/designer in creating significant artworks for and with the people in his society. Those who are graduated mostly don't."

I am a kind of person who usually perceives almost everything personally.

What Irwan Ahmett has done sticks in my head. One of most notable things is how he always does his project with Tita Salina, his wife, and how they are being productive by being "them" not for being only "Iwank" or only "Tita". And tonight, as I was googling to find any references for my art writing about his Urban Play project, I found a very sweet article I have read for more than 3 times. I may be about 2 years late to read this sweet article about Irwan Ahmett and Tita Salina, but I think this is worth to share:

I remember one of my closest friends ever said, "I guess I know why boys are afraid to approach you. It's because you are smart", which makes me angry and disappointed with the stereotypes of an image of dream girl that only needs to be pretty and good-looking. I promise to myself not to expect anything from any guy who tells "I'm in love with you" just because he thinks I'm pretty. "Because they're afraid of getting along with a girl with such idealism, such critical minds." Which is non-sense. I have been decided to be alone, as well. Because I always wonder how person like Soe Hok Gie (and any other idealists) would be accepted by family of girl/boy s/he loved with their minds. I wonder if these days it's possible to find anyone who seeks for any relationship and gets married not just because their society wants them to or because their religion permits them to.

This is such a cheesy contemplation ever to be written, but I have to admit that Irwan Ahmett and Tita Salina has given me one significant thing to always be considered.

To be along with certain guy I fall in love with for my entire life is acceptable, and not as bad as I had been thought about: you can live with a person you love as a real partner, not only for those romantic stuffs that only please both of you, but living with person you love as a partner to create things that will engage you with the society; to live with a person for your entire life as partner, to dream together, make it real, create happiness and share it with people around. To be together to interfere the reality that ought you to compromise every single ideas you have. What can be more joyful than getting along with a humanist?

I have always been dreaming to be like Beauvoir and get along with someone to be like Sartre. But now I'm dreaming of getting along with a person, to be as inspiring as Iwank and Tita Salina.

And I think I know that feeling of what Iwank felt while saying this to Tita:

"I don’t know why, but I feel that I can make my dreams come true with you."

(: