just finished watching another episode of CSI and ended with another contemplation about life.

people have dreams. people have troubles in reaching them, indeed. and the most ironic thing that could happen is when we're on our way to make it true~ when they are only several millimeters away from our eyes after all troubles we've struggled with - when we could just hold those things in our fist in a second, those dreams are suddenly burnt down, or tragically, our lives which are burnt down.

i read a news from DetikHealth about a beautiful young girl, Tika, who died of Bronchopneumonia. she never smoked. she was a  passive smoker. she was just in the wrong places wrong times and was surrounded by wrong persons.
or another news from Cairns about Mariza David who was murdered by his father  because she was  "talking back". he stabbed her for more than 20 times, and ever doused her in petrol. "talking back". is that reason enough to justify a statement "i have to end her life."
or news which i made a paper based of, about Tyler Clementi, an LGBT student who jumped over GW bridge after his campus mates broadcasted his sexual activities. "breaking one's privacy" is NOT the thing i concern about. how they published it to their entire campus, telling people he was gay, and showed how gay deserved no equal dignity is the one which in heart-breaking. imagine how much he has fought for, he achieved a scholarship to join that campus. imagine how people thought it would mean nothing just because he was a gay. nine days after that, Seth Walsh (13) died of hanging his self after bullying at school. Seth might have big dream to achieve like other boys i believe: to be a pilot, perhaps, or a doctor, or an artist, or a pro-athlete~ anything. i just don't get it why people are being so arrogant by telling "they don't deserve this and this because they're not this and this."
sometimes i think it's true what Dexter said, several people don't deserve to live. they're people who ended somebody else's lives because of their beast-instinct. but who are we to judge? no one in this world really ever fully intends to end the life of somebody's and the life's passion of a person who's quite close to his dreams, his joy, his happiness, his desires. uh, wait, who ever knows, exactly knows, about what people are really wanting? i can't even explain what i exactly want, either. i may know some things, well~ a lot of things i want to achieve; but i just question what i should do once they're realized, whether they would make any sense or not, or even it would really that necessary if they really could make sense. 

sometimes i believe that human-being is heart-breaking and life is really that absurd.